Yeti Watch

Although its nice to get on the flight with the Sky Priority zone to get the bag up top and get settled, one of the worst parts is what I call "Yeti watch"  Basically, you have to sit there in your aisle seat watching every NFL size person walking your way hoping they don't make eye contact and ask to take that center seat.

I'm not a small guy, but I do fit within the confines of my seat.  Some people are so large they can't fit.  I feel for those that have a weight problem or that are naturally big, but why should we have to give up seat space and lean into the aisle for someone else.  Some are nice about it an try to pull their shoulders in (like I do), but others just spread out, splaying their legs into your area and assuming ownership of both armrests.  What assholes.

I think Southwest has the best idea with charging people for two seats if they are too large.

One flight I was on there were two rather large guys.  They ended up sitting in the same row, right next to each other.   What was so interesting is that they kept glaring at each other.  Welcome to our would, big guy!

Three Lefts make a Right

Driving to a client in Baltimore, I got turned around and took the wrong exit at an interchange, going North, I took the West exit, which was a loop as part of a clover interchange (2 major interstates, with 4 loops) when I meant to East. Crap!  My luck I'd have to drive another 10 miles to find a spot to turn around.

Instead, I did what I learned years ago when I had to get around a closed on-ramp  (going North, the Eastbound ramp was under construction).  Take the first loop, stay on the inside, take the next loop, and yet another.   You'll end up going Eastbound without having to take another exit miles away.

This technique is also a good way to do a 180 on an interstate.  Two loops and you're going in the opposite direction.  The most fun part is when you have a passenger.  They don't know what the heck is going on.

Don't be ripped off by the rental car on gas

I picked up the rental last week, and the tank wasn't full.  Slightly below F.  I've driven enough of this model to know that you can drive 10-20  miles and it still says full.  So.... more than likely here's what happened.  Someone rented the car, and didn't replace the gas.  I don't know if the rental company charged them for the gas or not, but I doubt Hertz replaces the gas.  Why bother?  The next renter will take care of it.

Well, not me.  Why should my client pay for someone else's gas?  It was more than a little irritating.  Filling it prior and getting money back from Hertz would be pointless.  Later in the week I figured out what to do.  Nothing.  I didn't put a drop in.  I let them charge me for the mileage I drove.  The cost?  3 bucks.  Yep, 3 bucks.  It would have cost 10-12 if I filled it.  True, they charge more per gallon than I can get at the gas station, but in the end, I saved the client some money.  Let Hertz fill up their own damn car.

Stay hydrated without spending $3 on a bottle of water.

If you're like me and you want water available to help stay hydrated, especially during these dryer months and are frustrated with the TSA dudes treating your bottle of Evian as if it's a machete, there's a very simple solution.

Just bring an empty water bottle.  TSA says nothing about them, and you can fill up at many of the refill stations that they have at some of the terminals.  I know Atlanta has one in their A terminal.

You can also use this method if you're not getting paid for travel expenses yet want something sweet to drink with lunch or dinner.  Buy some of the Crystal Lite (or store brand) single serve mixes, fill up your water bottle at the fountain and wham, you've got a drink.

Always Print the Boarding Pass(s)

I know what you're going to say: My smartphone gets a QR code and I don't need to carry paper, YAY!

Well, you can still use your smartphone if you have the Delta App (or at least on the android platform you can).  But sometimes, though rarely, the whole Delta website goes down.  No Delta App, no web search, nothing.  In those cases, its nice to have a backup just in case.  You don't want to be that moron that is standing in front of the TSA checker trying to r"eboot your phone.  Its embarassing.

Besides, if you have status and you haven't already been upgraded, you'll get a "Have One On Us" coupon printed out with your boarding pass.  This will get you a nice snack or a cocktail, and you don't get it on your phone.

Don't drink?  Do what I do occassionally.  Give it away to an over 21 person in military garb.  They'll appreciate it.  And if you don't think they deserve it, I really don't care what you think.  Ever.

The Whirly Birds

This is what I call the group of people that are flying first class that will stand there 45 minutes prior to boarding, looking board and impatient.  WTH?  So your flying first class.  Big deal.  I get upgraded frequently, but I'm not going to stand there pretentiously for 40 minutes until the flight gets boarded.

The only exception for this is if you are in a bulkhead seat (row 1)  In the bulkhead, there is no place to put a small bag underneath you.  If you have 2 bags like most business travelers do, you have to fit both up top.  If you have 4 people that have that situation, that means 8 bags.  There's not enough room for 8 bags in the overhead above you, so you have to go back a row or two, which makes you have to become a salmon once they pull up the gate to go back and get your bags.

I always thought that perhaps these were bulkheaders.  Nope.  Maybe once or twice, but most times they are in rows 2-4.  I honestly don't know why they get up there early.  It looks pretentious.  Maybe there's something that I don't know, but it just looks silly to me.

Here's a group that stood there for 30 minutes.  Don't they look important.

A nice gesture, a nicer response

The week of Thanksgiving, 2013 I was scheduled to fly home on a Wednesday.  I had already been upgraded on both legs home, so it was nice knowing that I would be more comfortable.  Problem was, there were storms coming.  Being one of the busiest travel days of the year, I expected delays.  But you add bad weather on top of that, and all bets are off.

I called the hotline (another benefit of having status) and found out that I could fly home a day early with no charge as they had waived the fee.  Delta I think was happy to get some of us lemmings out of the way early so they had less problems to deal with that Wednesday.  They had me on a flight out of Baltimore to the ATL hub at 10am that Tuesday.

I checked the upgrade list to see where I was in the pecking order, and I was at the top of the list.  Yes! I thought.  Hopefully there would be a seat available in first so I don't have to squeeze in.  But, to my chagrin, first had checked in full.  Which means, 16 people had printed their boarding passes and had committed to that flight.  Checked in, and boarded are different things entirely though.

As first class boarded.  I listened for the "ding" as each was checked in.   "1...2.......13...14..15."  Only 15 dings; there was a seat and a chance... but, as luck would have it, they boarded my group and I didn't get the upgrade.  Oh well.

I was in 12C.  As I stood by on "Yeti watch" looking at every 7 foot 400 lb person walking by wondering if they were next to me, a nice lady asked to get into 12A.  I stood up and helped her put her bag in the overhead..

After the plane was fully boarded, there was no one in 12B.  Ahhhhhh a comfortable trip.  I might as well been in first for all I cared.

Shortly after, the gate agent came to my section and said, "Mr xxxxx, you have been upgraded.  Here's your new seat assignment" and left.  My large roller bag was already up above, I had my small bag underneath the seat in front of me and I was comfortable, especially since I didn't have to press flesh with someone right next to me.

I turned to the lady to my right and asked:  "Have you ever flown first class?"  "No" was the reply.  "Would you like to?"  "Yes!".  I said "Here's your chance" and handed her the upgrade and said "Happy Holidays".  She happily accepted and went to 3A.  I felt good about myself, as I did something nice for someone and helped put me in the holiday spirit.  I looked forward to telling my wife about it.

Half way through the flight, I get a note handed to me by a smiling first class FA (Flight Attendant) along with a cookie.  It was a very thoughtful note, and I thought I would share it.

What a nice soul she has.  I wish her the best.  It really let me appreciate how lucky I am to have the family that I do, and the people I call my friends.

What are your chances of getting upgraded on Delta?

I am currently a Platinum Medallion flyer on Delta.  I barely made 100 segments last year, and I hope to get to 100 this year to continue the status.  I get upgraded on my flights about 50% of the time.  When I don't, I don't really mind, though it is nice to have the extra room, and not worry that a Yeti will sit next to you and blop over into your space.

Getting that upgrade has to mostly do with 3 factors:

1. Your Status (Silver, Gold, Platinum or Diamond)
2. Your travel woes (flight cancelled?)
3. Price of your ticket.

I had one manager that was Gold Medallion and got upgraded over myself as a platinum because she always bought an expensive ticket.  Not very nice to the client, but that may be one of the reasons she no longer works for the company.  This same manager would also go to dinner with me, get several expensive drinks and then have us split the ticket.  Even though the client paid for the meal, my meal looked $15 more expensive than it ordinarily would.  I was not amused.

Most travel warriors (the Plats and the Diamonds) like to travel Monday morning through Thursday night.  Therefore, you are competing with high status folks if you choose to travel during those periods.  I've seen one flight that had about 15 diamond tags (you see them on their bags) that didn't get into first class.  If you choose to fly Sunday night instead, your chance of getting upgraded is more likely.

Shmoozing with the red coat (the Delta managers) doesn't help, though you might get a free drink ticket or two.

Its all about getting the status, and the bonus points.

In my current job, I travel a lot.  I typically fly out every Sunday, and then back every Thursday.  That's 2 segments to the client, a rental car, 4 nights at a hotel, then 2 segments home.  I've become very methodical in my routine and it comforts me.  Would I rather be with my wife and kids?  Definitely, but the job pays well, and I get bonus points for flying, renting and lodging.  These bonuses help me have vacations inexpensively, they help me get on earlier flights (due to "status", a topic for another day) and help the mediocrity of it all seem a little more bearable.

I fly Delta, and I like them.  Most of my future posts about flying will discuss them because they are the airline I fly.  On my current client, I could fly Southwest direct (no layover) but I choose to do multiple segments because they help me reach status.  The statuses on Delta include:

1. Silver.  Puts you in zone 1 (you get on the plane after the pre-boards, 1st class, and sky priority).  You get on the upgrade list but forget about getting upgraded to first unless its a very rare day.  It takes 30 segments, or 7.5 weeks of travel assuming 4 segments per week.
2. Gold.  Gets you to Sky priority and lets you board after first.  This is the minimum that I like to get, as I can get on and get my large bag in the overhead where it is convenient to reach.  Nothing worse than having to go back 4 rows to get your bag against a sea of travellers when you have a tight connection.  This takes 60 segments, or 15 weeks of travel.  You may get bumped up 2 to 3 times in a year with Gold.
3. Platinum..  Still sky priority like Gold, but you will get much better service in terms of upgrades, as well as improved chance of getting to the top of the standby list when you need to take an earlier flight.  This takes 100 segments, or 25 weeks of travel.  I'm currently Platinum, and I get upgraded on about half my flights.
4. Diamond.  I've never been Diamond, though I hope to reach it in 2014.  It takes 140 segments or 35 weeks of travel (4 legs per week).  This increases your chance to get upgraded, and you get a free membership into the Sky Lounge.  Very nice.  You can travel 3 out of 4 weeks and still make this status by the end of the year.

Note, that you can also reach those statuses by miles instead of segments, but all of my flights are short hops, so I don't bother.  Also starting in 2014 there will be a dollar spent requirement as well that are called "MQDs".  More on that later.